It’s Probably Nothing: The Dangers of Ignoring Behaviors of Concern
I want to begin by sharing a story… I had an uncle who seemed to live in the past, always rehashing the same old war stories and never really coming to grips with the loss of his wife. I hate to say it, but I almost dreaded attending family gatherings because I knew he would be there reliving those same old memories. That is until one day, when he no longer attended the family get togethers because he decided to end his life. Needless to say, we were shocked and horrified that he would find this to be the only option he had. As we struggled to make sense of what seemed to be such a senseless act, I began to realize that we failed to pay attention to his silent calls for help. At those family gatherings, we just shook our heads, told ourselves that’s just who he was, and as far as his sadness, well, “it’s probably nothing.”
But when sadness continues over an extended period of time, it’s deserving of attention. As I indicated above, sadness can evolve into a serious depression and the potential for suicidal ideations. Those in this desperate emotional state may pose a threat not just to themselves, but to others as well.
What about someone in your daily life who’s just seeming to have a bad day? Maybe they snap at you, criticize you, or just not want to interact as usual. How do you respond? For the most part, we just give them space, figuring they’ll get over it, and move on about our life. Afterall, “it’s probably nothing.”
But what if it is something? CPPS calls those subtle, but important, indicators that point to the possibility that something’s wrong as Behaviors of Concern. Such disruptive, aggressive, hostile, or emotionally abusive behaviors generate anxiety and create a climate of distrust.They can even be indicative of someone who is on a “Pathway to Violence.” Not to say we all don’t have a bad day now and then where we might be short with someone. But over time, we bounce back and get back to our old self. Conversely, with Behaviors of Concern, you’re looking for a pattern. Someone who remains angry, holds grudges, is hypersensitive to criticism, blames others, collects injustices, appears preoccupied with violent themes, is obsessed, or appears extremely anxious or sad is exhibiting Behaviors of Concern. Another that many may not consider is change. In other words, if someone changes from being friendly and outgoing to suddenly becoming quiet and withdrawn, it could be a warning sign.The same holds true for someone showing extreme or euphoric highs without an apparent reason. What’s important to understand is that any of these Behaviors of Concern, if left unchecked, could escalate into violence.
CPPS research revealed that someone contemplating a violent act may tell someone else, write about it, or even try to recruit the assistance of others. They may have warned friends to stay away from the scene on a certain day, or even outlined their plan on social media. Some surveilled their potential target or made practice runs before the final event. So why then did those people who were “in the know” not report it to those in authority? CPPS attributes their reluctance to reporting roadblocks.There are several, to include a lack of awareness; if you don’t know what to look for, it’s difficult to report it. Next, they don’t want to be viewed as a snitch, or last, they think it’s just senseless talk. In other words, they believe “it’s probably nothing.”
Never talk yourself out of doing what you need to do.The stakes are too high.Trust your instincts. If something doesn't seem right, pay attention to that sense. While it may be nothing, it’s better to be safe than sorry. And when observing human behavior, remember to “listen” with your eyes. A large part of communication is nonverbal. That means we need to pay attention to what people are saying with their expressions, emotions, and body language and overall change in behavior. We’re all different and will likely not discuss our intentions or needs in the same manner.
Bear in mind, behaviors that some find troubling or threatening may very well be another person’s way of asking for help. Don’t just turn away and tell yourself “it’s probably nothing” because you can make a difference.
By: Margi Strub, CPPS Instructional Designer
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